idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
