Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
