I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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