I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Pants are for mortals
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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