you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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