so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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