My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
