Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
