There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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