dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
