weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do vagina's smell?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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