I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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