Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
