So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
if only i could text you this smell
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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