K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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