Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
