i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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