Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
