Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
