forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
