Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
