I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
