But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize