Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
