Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
