And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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