My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
