In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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