I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
