a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
