How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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