ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
