Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
