I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
