I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
