i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
