READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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