I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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