dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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