actually, I'm a sock model
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
