hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
