Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

thats actually pretty good logic

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(207): View more from Maine

He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.

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(310): View more from California

Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up

(919): View more from North Carolina

which one looks the most like her?

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(647): View more from Ontario

Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.

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(425): View more from Washington

Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...

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