Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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