he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i will never coherently bang her
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
