Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
