Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
