Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
