i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize