I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
