I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it was like eating out sand paper
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize