I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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