i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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