Just mADE A PArabola og urine
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
