You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
