I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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