So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
