It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize