Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
