oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
