Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
