hell yes lets make some ravioli
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
