woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Can I color on your dick again?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Someone came in the potted fern
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
