Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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