U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
