how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
