I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
