last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize