my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize